Author: TheBrentmeisterGeneral
“Why should they be worried? Yeah. They trust me implicitly. I’ve said there are not going to be redundancies, so that becomes gospel.”
“Some people like a hot bath. That’s my Radox.”
“I am telling this to everyone. I do not want you going ‘oh that’s it, we’re out of here, there’s no point.’ Or walking round with your shoulders hunched.”
“Well you jumped in my grave so quickly”
“Variety is the spice of life, and all that. Living la vida loca.”
“The lads started calling me Brentasaurus. All good fun. Not at the time. I burst into tears.”
“What’s the definition of a glass bra? Smash and grab. Honk, honk.”
“Yeah. Correctamundo.”
“I got one character… called Ho Lee Fuk.”
“I prefer it out here with the troops because we have a laugh.”
“I let her keep the t-shirt. It’s only fair.”
“We are going to get a little bit funky. Um, probably too funky.”
“People often say, “Is there anything you won’t joke about?” Yes, the handicapped.”
“Keep the noise down. No, turn it up.”
“That’s as stiff as you like and it won’t damage your rug. Well that’s what I told her.”
“Ask me how are you spelling coming?”
“I’m gonna roll you over, and rock you stupid, and leave you there just humming. There’s a party in my trousers, baby, and everybody’s coming.”
“No, that was then. This is now. I’m currently a singer songwriter, and a rep.”
“He’s back! Did you miss me?”
“The reason women wear necklaces is to draw attention to the breasts”
“I think they should have to have their picture taken with a copy of todays newspaper”
“Oh for fucks sake.”
“I think I found a lump the other day.”
“That’s racist.”
“Mon-ke.”
“In fact, I’m thinking of asking for my money back under the Trades Descriptions Act because this is the recent photo she sent in.”
“Throwing water, plastic bottles, underpants. One bloke threw a pair of Y-fronts, hit me in the face. I knew it was Nutella or Marmite he’d smeared on the gusset, but it was still him going, we think you’re shit.”
“Simply as the man who put a smile on the face of all who he met.”
“Yeah! I’m expecting a blind date and I was worried you were it! No.”
“I thought she’d be one of them happy, bubbly ones ’cause they’re eating. She’s bleugghh! Nothing.”
“It’s not a trick, is it, knowledge, education?”
“Uh, Pound for pound, there’s more sugar in a lemon than a strawberry.”
“Not as good as Beethoven. He’s generally considered to be the best.”
“So then we evolved and probably turned you over when language came in, to either chat or just to look at the breasts that reminded us of the buttocks.”